The past couple of weeks I have been on and off of trying to search for a date. I'm not as motivated as I once was. Not that I can't find someone but I just know when someone isn't right for me. It just doesn't feel like it will last at all. It doesn't mean that the person is bad or that I am bad. We just don't mix as a couple.
I keep putting myself out there. This is like a full time job! I think I'm not in the right place at the right time. God will put me there I'm sure.
I've been talking to someone. Tonight I was supposed to see him but I opted out being that I knew he wanted to get intimate. I just wasn't feeling it. It's not fair to lead someone on like that. Also when I have a crush on someone else, it takes my mind off of this person I'm dating and that's no fair either. The person I have a crush on doesn't know and I haven't seen him in months. Running into a former crush doesn't help either!!! I fall for this guy EVERY TIME I see him. He just had a baby. It's ridiculous because I thought that would change how I feel. NOPE
I thought about this a couple of weeks ago when the weather started to become beautiful... There will be more options for me to be outside and go out with people. The cycle of life continues no matter your state of mind or relational status. After being in a relationship for 2 years of my life, I'm reliving what we would do together. Taking out the quads, washing the cars, walking the dog... all moments bonding and growing together that we didn't really delve into because we treated those things like chores. These things are chores but when you do them together you are a team and learning about each other. I need to remember that next time. It was fun. Now that the nice weather is starting, I'm having flashbacks; seeing nice cars out I now want to go to car shows. I started tearing up in the car thinking "why would someone cheat?" I thought I provided the best care I could; not good enough for him but someone else will enjoy it.
I need to be single for the rest of this year. Continue dating will be fine but I need to get myself in a place and my career going. I know I saw this all of the time! This NEEDS to happen.
I'm going to start budgeting this way it keeps my mind off of boys and concentrate more on an apartment.
"The Beat"- Ben Rector- good song!
I keep putting myself out there. This is like a full time job! I think I'm not in the right place at the right time. God will put me there I'm sure.
I've been talking to someone. Tonight I was supposed to see him but I opted out being that I knew he wanted to get intimate. I just wasn't feeling it. It's not fair to lead someone on like that. Also when I have a crush on someone else, it takes my mind off of this person I'm dating and that's no fair either. The person I have a crush on doesn't know and I haven't seen him in months. Running into a former crush doesn't help either!!! I fall for this guy EVERY TIME I see him. He just had a baby. It's ridiculous because I thought that would change how I feel. NOPE
I thought about this a couple of weeks ago when the weather started to become beautiful... There will be more options for me to be outside and go out with people. The cycle of life continues no matter your state of mind or relational status. After being in a relationship for 2 years of my life, I'm reliving what we would do together. Taking out the quads, washing the cars, walking the dog... all moments bonding and growing together that we didn't really delve into because we treated those things like chores. These things are chores but when you do them together you are a team and learning about each other. I need to remember that next time. It was fun. Now that the nice weather is starting, I'm having flashbacks; seeing nice cars out I now want to go to car shows. I started tearing up in the car thinking "why would someone cheat?" I thought I provided the best care I could; not good enough for him but someone else will enjoy it.
I need to be single for the rest of this year. Continue dating will be fine but I need to get myself in a place and my career going. I know I saw this all of the time! This NEEDS to happen.
I'm going to start budgeting this way it keeps my mind off of boys and concentrate more on an apartment.
"The Beat"- Ben Rector- good song!
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