What if...

What if I went away to college? or never went to college?

What if I stayed with that guy?

What if I subbed in schools before I actually got hired?

What if I moved out with my friend?

What if I never got my dog?

What if I never passed out?

What if I stayed at that job?

What if I kissed that guy?

What if I stay in my relationship? What if I don't?

What if i buy a house before marriage?

What if I don't have children? what if I do?

What if I don't want to get married? What if i want to but i'm scared?

A lot has to do with fear. There is a fear of the unknown that I have and I think it is very common among us. I feel like being a woman puts the pressure on getting married, having kids...
This generation is so different from the past. Now women go to school and work; get their careers going and leave family on hold. This sucks because I came from a family where I'm the youngest and my parents are a lot older than most people my age. 
I'm afraid.
Afraid that I won't have my parents around to help me raise my kids.
It's always been said that "you'll know" Well I'm unsure. 
I'm afraid I will pick the wrong person to do life with. Wait. I don't want to say wrong but maybe not the ideal person. But in reality, what is ideal? and who am I to know what or who will benefit me and my future?

The only thing I can do is pray. God is on my side and everything happens for a reason. I'm obviously having these thoughts and fears for reasons I cannot answer. 
We all go through life trying to figure out the reasons for things; why do things happen? what is the next step i should take? Is it going to be the right one?

I always wonder where I would be if i went straight instead of turning off the beaten path, don't you?